I'm mad as hell

and I'm here to yell 😡

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I'll tell you guys, here recently I do a whole lot more bouncing around to emotional extremes than I normally do. I'm sure there are many of you out there who can relate right now. Sometimes I'll have a sad downcast kind of day, sometimes anxiety holds me in its crippling embrace for days at a time, occasionally a joyful few days will sneak in here and there like stray sunbeams through the slats in the blinds. Goddess, those ones sure are good. Some days, though, like today, I am just simply fucking angry.

That's truly all I fucking am today. It's mother's day and I want to be joyful and here I am, putting on my best mask for these kids that I can. I haven't been snappy or short with them at all and I'm so proud of myself. There have been times in my life that I wasn't as skilled at compartmentalizing these big overwhelming feelings that I possess, and it would spill over into the world around me, unintentionally harming people who I care about. I'm better at not doing that these days. But deep inside my busy little buzzing skull, where I always have about twelve fucking narrative channels spinning simultaneously, today all those narrative channels are screaming the same urgent warning EMS signals simultaneously.

The sociopathic monsters who are currently in charge of this country are wreaking havoc on every single front imaginable right now. Nothing seems to be safe from their perversion and their spin. Redefining words and relitigating the terms of objective reality seem to be the weapons of choice in this vile crusade. Talks of using the insurrection act, words leap out at me from articles like blaring red flashing warning beacons. I seethe through clinched jaw. The absolute unmitigated fucking gall of these people. These cheap, tawdry and trashy plastic pseudo-patriots who worship at the orange altar of the master insurrectionist of all American history. The suggestion that they want to suspend habeas corpus is an apocalyptic nightmare scenario! That's the whole fucking ballgame, people! If they suspend it, you have no rights at all, up to and including being imprisoned without a trial and having everything you own seized by the government. I truly, honestly hope with all my cold black little heart that there are not still people who think it cannot happen here. It is happening. Here. Now.

Then there's the “anti-Christian bias” hotline number that has been distributed to every single governmental department now in a purported effort to root out the anti-Christian bias that Joe Biden's government supposedly installed during his term. To which I say, holy fuck, what? No really. That's the thin pretext that they have laid out here. That Joe Biden, faithful church going Catholic, installed an anti-Christian influence within the government. Never mind that this whole thing has been set in motion by the guy who most fucking perfectly fits the Christian conception of the antichrist in the most exactly specific ways imaginable. The guy who's lucky that he didn't burst into a fiery ball of fucking flames during his upside-down-Bible-tear-gas photo op. The dude who never darkens a church door unless there's money to me made by doing so or a funeral service that he can disrespect by falling asleep or texting during. He's the chosen protector of Christianity, right? Give me a fucking break. That's all without even delving into the fact that our government has no business protecting any singular religion to the exclusion of others. It also doesn't take into account the question of what the fuck exactly is “anti-Christian bias” anyhow? In the absence of an exact definition, it seems as though the inherent dangers of such an Orwellian anonymous tipline should be apparent to anyone with a fully functioning cortex. Doesn't sound like something a government with freedom of religious liberty should be engaging in, really, does it?

Oh, and evangelicals who raised me, y'all can just fuck right off with every judgement or “concerned” question about my fragile mental state or my morality or my past addictions or about any fucking thing, really, because literally every lesson you guys taught me as the gospel fucking truth is being perverted and flouted openly right in front of your eyes every single day and you are CHOOSING to not see it. When someone shakes you by your smarmy little shoulders and makes you see it, you simply find a way to excuse it. Even a lot of you who are already suffering and who have seen your own family being affected are still pretending that any of this is normal! You are morally bankrupt and shallow in every conceivable measure. Fuck you and fuck your fake ass gospel. I knew instinctively that shit was bogus even as a small child and you motherfuckers peddled those delusional beliefs at me so goddamn hard and gaslit me so thoroughly that I actually grew up questioning whether I was defective and thinking that God just fucking hated me because I never felt what you said you felt. Now, you, the same people who taught me that Jesus loved the whole world and died to save us all are cheering when they see innocent people kidnapped and disappeared to torture prisons? When you see desperately poor mothers forcefully separated from their screaming and pleading children? But it's ok because they were “illegal”? Mannnnn, fuck y'all for that shit. I can't believe I ever thought you were better or more moral than me. I can't believe that there was a time when I once held myself up in comparison to you and actually found myself to be lacking. (Spits. Brushes dirt off shoulder.)

Then the borders. Fuck me, now they're setting up checkpoints for people leaving the country into Canada? What the absolute fresh fucking hell is this? Something tells me that they are, in part, trying to catch immigrants who they have so cordially invited to “self deport” on their way out of the country as they attempt to do just that. Why? Fuck if I can figure it out, except for abject cruelty which seems to give every Republican a raging hate boner these days. But why else are they doing it? Is there another equally menacing reason for it? Are they making lists of people who leave the country now so that they can track them using some pretext of national security? Do they plan to track them when they come back in? And if so, that begs the question: why? With this bunch of charlatans, who even knows what the reason could be? It could boil down to something as base as the fact that the very rich and powerful people who own the private prison industry and stand to make an obscene fucking fortune from the suffering brought about by the fourth reich are simply unwilling to allow those potential human “resources” to escape back over the border without being swept up and profit maximized for the oligarch’s coffers. Do you personally see any real clear ethical line that most of these sycophants won't cross? I sure as hell don't.

The regime is still blatantly thumbing their noses at orders from the supreme court, while every racist gun humping asshole in the world now feels ever more emboldened to act out their worst versions of themselves on the world stage. Hatred is having its heyday right at this very moment in this country. It's the new hotness and all the worst people are setting the pace. And against this backdrop, these fascist fucking worms have the audacity to try and legislate that seething hatred into the actual law! Nothing is safe from this rollback of the thin veneer of civility we once possessed in this country. That veneer, thin and insubstantial though it might have been, was something that that these hateful self-absorbed freaks somehow found to be so inconveniencing to their persons that they willingly handed control of the largest nuclear armed military in the world to a demented white supremist conman with absolutely zero scruples and even less decency.

When will enough be enough? For these ambitious and soulless husks of humanity, it will never be enough. They are human parasites, gnawing away at the core of everything that has ever lent any credence to any small notion of American exceptionalism, excreting only pain and suffering in their wakes. Only an absolute dunce could look at what our country has fallen to and think that it is something to aspire to. America's gotten so fucking scary that many American citizens would choose to willingly deport themselves if they had the means to do so. We are no longer a beacon of any kind except to the worst amongst the vilest legions of evil in this world. We are now the shithole country and on our way to rendering our social progress to that of a banana republic as well. So many Americans, myself included, now feel trapped by their own country rather than protected.

So honestly, just a great fucking job American politicians! And no, I'm not even just blaming the Republicans now. Largely, yes because they are in power and waging active war on the constitution, but we have a SHAMEFUL number of capitulators on “our”side these days. Please do not message me screaming about the ones who are doing the good work and how I'm not acknowledging them. Obviously I'm grateful as fuck for the ones who are doing something. But I am filled with cold, deep and measured loathing for the ones who linger idly by with their fingers to the wind. Any of them who express their esteemed opinion that the Dems moved “too far to the left” which really translates to: “throw all the people who aren't straight white and male under the bus” can kiss my fat lily white ass! Nor do I have any respect for any of them who will not stop playing the stock market while serving their terms! That shit is the kind of absolutely corrupt country club crony shit that has led us here, and it needs to stop! That IS the rare bothsides topic. Members of the government, lawmakers, have access to far too much inside information and far too much influence for them to legislate effectively if there is a profit motive for them to work against the best possible outcomes for their constituents. Fuck them for trying to uphold that obscene and corrupt privelege.

Don't even get me started on his shamelessly incompetent cabinet picks. Holy fucking hell, it gives me a headache just thinking about that bullshit! Jeannine (not really a judge) Pirro joins the esteemed ranks of our government now? What a fine tuned machine this administration is turning out to be! She'll fit right the fuck in with Kegseth and Patel and that fucking absolute quackfucker lady that Trump nominated to the surgeon generals office who doesn't even have a goddamn medical license!!! I don't even give enough of a fuck about the quackfucker lady to learn her name. And it would probably be shorter and easier to type than quackfucker, but less descriptive and much less accurate.

Jesus Christ, when my mother told me I could be anything, she should have followed that with “if you're the worst and most absolutely irredeemable, repugnant fucking piece of shit imaginable” because then it would have turned out to be true. My head is almost ready to spontaneously combust just trying to mentally calculate the damage these cretins will be able to wreak with unfettered access to our country’s levers of power and its vast treasury. It does not bode well, my friends.

We need to be aware, my dear friends and loyal readers, that the trap has already been sprung around us. Although we currently have our constitutional rights afforded to us, you need to be aware that if they get their way, that will swiftly become a distant memory! The only way I can honestly see for the people to make their stands and be heard is for us to deprive them of the very lifeblood that they have become addicted to. Us. Capitalism, through us. We need to organize general strikes, people, and it needs to happen SOON!!! When Stephen Miller is out front advocating for the suspension of habeas corpus, and then all the Republicans hit the Sunday shows echoing their support for such a thing, it is beyond time to do something drastic! We The People are the ones with the power to grind the whole machine to a standstill, to affect the bottom line of the oligarchs and our self appointed overlords of capital. The time in which we will be free to do anything about this is rapidly dwindling, my friends. There can be no more hedging of bets or wishful thinking when chaos agents with actual power are advocating for the removal of your most sacred constitutional rights! Rights, NOT priveleges, Stephen Miller (you anemic, flaccid, flesh-eating human tapeworm in a suit). I can't lie and tell you that I know a goddamn thing about setting something like this up, but I do know that it has to begin with setting up some kind of mutual aid networks so that people can participate in such an action without having to bear the full economic brunt of it unaided. In order for this to work, it must be coordinated and planned. Start talking with people in your community! By now, you've met at least a few who share your viewpoints. Start small. Discuss. Let's make some plans people, because you bet your fucking ass they've got plans for us otherwise. I'll sign off with this for now. Stay awake. Stay ANGRY. Resist and persist, my friends.

bpnwc 😻

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