30 Comments
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Camille Brightsmith's avatar

Holy shit balls. I was a fan. Now I am in awe. I get it, what happened. And thank god for poetry and nice people and the love we have for our children. Well done, staying alive. Well done, leaning to LIVE! Also, good damn writing.

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bluePNWcats's avatar

Thank you Camille, for your kind words. 🙏🏼☺️

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Logan Darrow's avatar

This was just riveting. Thank you for having the courage to share.

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bluePNWcats's avatar

Thank you Logan.

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Mommadillo's avatar

I can’t quite bring myself to drop a heart onto so much pain, but I admire you for writing this. Bravo.

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bluePNWcats's avatar

Thank you for reading and commenting. I understand why you feel that way, but trust me, the beautiful thing is that even after all of the awful crap I've been through, I am still here and still smiling and stronger than ever. Writing about these things has really been giving myself a gift of unburdening.

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Patisu Lambert's avatar

Writing has been therapy for me Blue, painful to dredge the deepest sickness and ugliness in my soul but cathartic in the end. These words seem trite in comparison to what you’ve been through. Strength is your reward!

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bluePNWcats's avatar

Oh my goodness yes, writing is so therapeutic! And yes, if what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, then I'm bullet proof. 😄

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CG Karas's avatar

Wow. Powerful writing. You and I have a few things in common. We have the same birthday for one. Though I am probably much older. I was homeless for a year in Austin, 2013 to 14. I stayed in the 2 downtown shelters for the most part. Finally got out of it by getting training and a job driving school buses for KIPP. Met my wife there, Lashonne. From the East side, nine kids, now 10, one being my daughter. Always the threat of CPS. We separated on friendly terms, she in Dallas now. I spent a year there trying to stay close, but was literally thrown out on my ear by the high cost among other things. I've just recently landed safely in SA, almost became homeless again. Luckily I'm retired on SS. But the landlord requirement that you make 3x your rent nearly did me in. Austin, the city where I received my Masters in Architecture, would not give me a job in my career to save my life. I will never return there for any reason. So glad you made it alright. The governorabbit would like us all to move to Oklahoma I think. Some day I will be able to write down everything and get some healing from it. You give me hope

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bluePNWcats's avatar

Hello CG. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. It does sound like we have some commonality for sure! 😊 I can relate to getting priced out of an area as well. That, also, happened to my family with Austin. It does sound like you've also had one heck of a journey. I'll tell you, writing my stuff down has been one of the most difficult things I have done, but it has also had the most personal benefit of anything else I've tried to process all my junk. Highly recommend. I'm in Oregon now, which is where I'm from originally. I miss Austin so much but I am so glad I'm not there right now with my kids. What a nightmare that would be. You take care out there, CG. 😊

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Courtney Waller's avatar

I’m so sorry you lived through that. I get it. But damn..I’m sorry

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bluePNWcats's avatar

I made it and I'm here on the other side. 😊 Plus, thanks to all this sweet sweet trauma, I'm a fucking delight, so I guess it was good for something. 😆😆😆

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Kryptogal (Kate, if you like)'s avatar

Wow! What a story. Yikes. I am sorry.

My best friend from high school discovered her own husband had been up to similar levels of cheating, and immediately dumped his ass and moved out with her two toddlers, and also told everyone what he did. For her troubles, a few years later he published a book -- which you can buy on Amazon! -- describing how his ex-wife was a fat, ugly, nagging bitch and how after he divorced he found Jesus and the love of his life (and left out everything about his constant cheating). So even when you have the strength to do the best thing, you can still get served a shit sandwich!

Also, your fat glossy cat in your profile pic is completely adorable and irresistible.

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bluePNWcats's avatar

Thanks for reading, Kryptogal! Yeah, you are so right. Sometimes in life, the right/good thing to do is a much more ambiguous choice than people think. And that fluffy guy is my little Onyx. He's Mom's favorite kitty, but we don't tell the other three. 😉😻

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Kryptogal (Kate, if you like)'s avatar

I had to amplify the picture to stare at him. Nothing I love more than a big fat glossy handsome cat! :)

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Kryptogal (Kate, if you like)'s avatar

Very, very squeezeable!!

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bluePNWcats's avatar

Oh yes indeed! 😊

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Cateck's avatar

Thank you for sharing, damn, you've been through it. I'm glad you seem to have found peace now.

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bluePNWcats's avatar

Thank you Cateck. Yes, my second marriage, in particular was a hell of a thing. Believe it or not, there are still two installations left that encompass my ten year marriage to JP. It was a lot. JP is exactly why, when I first saw how Trump was behaving, it terrified me to no end, and still does. I KNOW what a narcissist is capable of. Even a wage slave run of the mill one. I cannot imagine the destruction JP could wreak with even a fraction of the money and power that Donald Trump has. It does not bear thinking about. And peace? Yes, all that and more are finally mine. ☺️

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Audrey Ritter's avatar

I think we ALL have enough stuff to write a novel the size of 'War and Peace!" (each)

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bluePNWcats's avatar

I imagine that is absolutely the truth, Audrey! Thanks for reading! 😌

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Some Guy's avatar

Thanks for sending this one to me, Blue. Invictus was huge for me for a long while but if you can believe it I didn’t know the story of the author until you shared it just now. I’m glad you found the fight in you to get your boy back. I’ve known a lot who just couldn’t so all credit in the world to you for it. I have a tattoo of a bear that fought in wwii that I use to remind myself that anyone can do anything. Keep on keeping on.

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bluePNWcats's avatar

Thanks so much! I enjoy your writing so much that your compliments are high praise indeed. Thank you for reading it and the feedback. 🙏🏼😁

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Kathleen Connor's avatar

Perhaps that rocky road has been paved and as your journey continues, your heart and soul will find rest and comfort.

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bluePNWcats's avatar

I do feel like that's the path I'm on these days. 😁❤️

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Kathleen Connor's avatar

That was quite a read. It’s been a long journey for you on a very rocky road.

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bluePNWcats's avatar

And I ain't dead yet! 😉

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Sep 7
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bluePNWcats's avatar

You get it. 😉

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Sep 6
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bluePNWcats's avatar

I don't think that even anger management would help diaper Don. You have to be able to accept responsibility for your own actions. Lol

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