Dear bluePNWcats, your words were so painful but so eloquent. Being Jewish I did not grow up with that hatred in my home. No I grew up with that hatred all around me. From fist fights being called a goddam Jew, usually getting beaten up in the process. To every put down I had to endure because the other person was someone who could hurt me if I protested. To the world at large. I know it is hard to understand this but one Saturday we were going to synagogue when on the news was an announcement that a synagogue in Atlanta Georgia was bombed. This was somewhere in the 60's. I often wondered how people who were going to church would have felt if they heard such news. That a church anywhere in the US had been hit by a bomb. Would they have had second thoughts about, is my life in danger just because of my beliefs? Most of the people who have not felt that kind of prejudice will never understand it. Those who have lived in its midst and have broken away from it and now understand how toxic and debilitating that way of life is, like you, now you can appreciate what someone like me grew up everyday of their life. Please do not misconstrue what I say as being bitter. I know there is good and bad everywhere and that not all people are bigoted and hateful. But when you have experienced such bigotry it sometimes takes a little time to trust people. I am sorry that the people in your world were not better role models but I would say, even they grew up with that environment it was not their fault. In a way they were brainwashed, just as their parents were and their parents before them. It is unfortunate that there is so much ignorance, bigotry, and hatred in this world. I am ever hopeful for a world where people can live in harmony with one another. The human race can be so much better and could accomplish so much to help one another if they could only let go of the hate and respect one another. I am not saying we all have to love each other, it would be nice but not reasonable but I will gladly take respect for everyone as a normal. It that too much to hope for? Be well. Shalom Dan
Daniel, as always, your words touch my heart. I am sorry to hear that you had to fight the tides of bigotry when you were coming up in the world, and probably still today. You're right, when you are the recipient of such abuse, it sensitizes you to the plight of others in ways you were not before. I honestly think that the abuse and ostracization I experienced as a young child from my peers say the stage for my empathy and my understanding the perspective of the underdog. It's strange to think about it that way, but had I never experienced that, it's likely that I might have perpetrated that same thing myself. In that way, I am glad for my suffering, since it woke me to the suffering of others. Thank you for your kind words. ❤️
I was born in Charlotte NC in 1961. We lived in Southern California for about a year in 1965-1966, then back to Charlotte for about a year, and finally to Spartanburg SC when I was in first grade. Except for that year in California, I have lived my entire life in the Carolinas, including when I was married (Charlotte, Rock Hill, and York were the places I lived as a married lady). Schools were still segregated when I started school, but in the early 70s, schools in Spartanburg were desegregated without much fuss in Spartanburg, although other cities had problems. Racism was all around, and still is. In fact, it's worse, because of the rot at the top. Some of the things that you heard people say about Blacks, I never remember hearing, but the "n" word was freely used. I used it, and thought nothing about it, until sometime in my teens, when I realized it was wrong, and stopped using it. It's hard to call out people for saying racist stuff, especially if they are loved ones, who are otherwise good people. I have done it, but not consistently, I'm a white coward too. However, I will try to overcome that, because it's more important now than ever, with that rot at the top of the nation.
That's right on target Linda. I may have faltered in the past, but that doesn't mean I have to keep following that path. Thank you for your thoughtful comment. ❤️
Hey Blue! Thanks for sharing with us. I know how you feel. They called me a Wiger JUST for having black friends and seeing the GOOD in EVERYONE when I was in high school. One of my brothers who other than being an alcoholic was ok at the time was dating a black/African American girl. He invited her to his birthday and just because she was coming my grandfather wouldn't come. Years later though, he was the first to get others to allow black/African Americans in the local fair here! That must have changed his mind! There was and most likely still are some racist jerks. I have to recommend the book Adult Survivors of TOXIC Family Members to you. It helps if you have that sort of thing or anyother form of TOXIC behaviour in your family.
💙 you have a way to slap me upside the head when I need it so much… I wanted to reply to this last night but right after I read this I saw confirmation about Elisa Rae Shupe as it destroyed me remembering several of our conversations about things as well as her last post that I had but after I started crying my phone went blank after I couldn’t figure out how to save that post and it was gone… several have cautioned me about taking to much as a failing when I didn’t respond like I feel like I should of… your post is written with pain and recognition of the whys and why for’s… you have a perspective that I appreciate immensely… thank you 🙏 ❤️🩹
Thank you so much Rick. I appreciate that you enjoy and can relate to what I have to say. I hadn't heard the latest about Elise Rae Shupe. What did I miss?
💔 on Jan 31 she committed suicide and was wrapped in a trans flag while in her final moments… unfortunately no major news orgs carried any info at all… so fucked up…
Same. I lived in a certain school district with the last open operating KKK group that was overtly active until the mid 80s. In the Portland Metropolitan area. Us kids nonchalantly told the black students this. It was a bland fact to us and a horror to them. I didn't realize the horror it would be to them. Racism wasn't spoken about. Everyone pretended it didn't exist outside for those people but the redlining didn't end until the mid to late 80s as well.
Few black students stayed all 4 years. It was too much for them to tolerate. College was a huge eye opener. And that is why so many don't want kids going to college or only want kids going to certain universities.
Dear blue, thank you for your appreciation of my work. As far as bigotry goes I would not say you get use to it, but when you are always ready for it, it does not take you completely by surprise. Although whenever it occurs it does hurt again. Each time feels like another knife wound. Just as fresh as the first one. Still you keep going and you try to be particular about who you interact with. Sometimes you just have to walk away. Shalom Dan
I am in awe of your candor, your humility, and your willingness to admit wrongs and make them right. Sitting here in discomfort thinking about all the times I was silent, or worse actually complicit in thought, word, or deed. Thank you for inspiring reflection and change in my heart.
Dear blue, I want to tell you how far hate can extend. My reasons for addressing this to you is that I feel you and the people you attract will understand.
When I was in the Air Force I was stationed at McGuire AFB in New Jersey. The boss of the loadmasters [NCOIC] Non Comissioned Officer In Charge was a closet bigot. His wife worked in the administrative offices of the base. If he did not like you, all he needed to do was have a conversation with his wife in the privacy of their home, and as if by magic, orders would appear sending you to Vietnam, usually but it could be for any location. Anyway as it turned out I was enjoying my assignment and doing well. Not good for me. Then there was a sergeant, who happened to be black, who resisted this man's interference in his doing his job. Not good for him. Then there was this other guy. He did not stand out. He was just one of many, like the rest of us. Not good for him either. Anyway the NCOIC had a little talk with Mrs. NCOIC, and you guessed it magic, we all got orders for Vietnam. You see in his logic if he sent me, oh I forgot I am Jewish, and just me it might raise a question. But with the addition of the black sergeant and the white kid it looked like a normal situation, except it was anything but. And his hope was that either the black sergeant or myself or perhaps both of us would wind up dead. So the next thing we know we were in Vietnam. Me and the white kid,Bo. The black sergeant came a little later, but under the same orders. No one was the wiser. When the black sergeant showed up at the same unit as the two of us things got interesting. The black sergeant brought with him some news about our former boss, the now former NCOIC. It seems that after we got our orders our boss was returning from a mission. He did have to do some work some time. Anyway while he was on his way back to McGuire he had to stop in Elmendorf AFB Alaska for crew rest. While there he got really, really drunk at the NCO Club. He then proceeded to tell everyone there exactly what he thought of the Air Forces hiring policy when it came to certain people like me and the black sergeant, only he did not use polite words. In attendance was someone who knew Col. Duckett who happened to be the Commander of the 21st Air Force. Which was head quartered at McGuire AFB. You are appointed to that position by the President of the United States of America, no one else. So when the Col. Duckett was informed of the goings on by a man in charge of so many people he took action. When our boss flew into McGuire the next day his car was waiting for him. He was taken to Col. Duckett's office where he was given a choice, which was more than any of us got. He could retire and take his wife along with him, or if he decided to stay he was to be reassigned to a very lowly job with no supervision responsibilities and no people under him. So he retired. Life, such as it was in a war zone, went on, until that day. 27 November 1970. The day Bo, remember the white kid, got killed. He along with five other American crew on just another routine mission in Vietnam. Only for them it was their last. So in a bizarre twist of fate the bigoted boss got his wish, but unfortunately for Bo, he got caught in the crossfire. Our boss intended for me or the black guy to get it, but it was Bo along with the other five men who paid the ultimate price. I still morn him to this day. As the expression goes, there but for the grace of God go I. So you see evil prejudice does exact a victim just not always the one the perpetrator had in mind. And sometimes the consequences of your actions come back around and bite you in the ass as well. There is no lesson or anecdote of life, or reason for what happened, only that it did, and poor Bo paid with his life.
Until now only a few knew this story. Now I give it to the world to understand and ponder. There is a lesson in this, exactly what, I still have to figure out. It is something that will be with me forever. Shalom Dan
Daniel, you write so beautifully and with such evocative emotion. Your story was tragic. To purposely put people in harms way out of petty grievance. There are not many things more dishonorable than that. I'm sorry that you ever had to deal with such bigotry. I hope America can heal the sickness before it destroys us entirely. 🫂❤️😻
Dear bluePNWcats, your words were so painful but so eloquent. Being Jewish I did not grow up with that hatred in my home. No I grew up with that hatred all around me. From fist fights being called a goddam Jew, usually getting beaten up in the process. To every put down I had to endure because the other person was someone who could hurt me if I protested. To the world at large. I know it is hard to understand this but one Saturday we were going to synagogue when on the news was an announcement that a synagogue in Atlanta Georgia was bombed. This was somewhere in the 60's. I often wondered how people who were going to church would have felt if they heard such news. That a church anywhere in the US had been hit by a bomb. Would they have had second thoughts about, is my life in danger just because of my beliefs? Most of the people who have not felt that kind of prejudice will never understand it. Those who have lived in its midst and have broken away from it and now understand how toxic and debilitating that way of life is, like you, now you can appreciate what someone like me grew up everyday of their life. Please do not misconstrue what I say as being bitter. I know there is good and bad everywhere and that not all people are bigoted and hateful. But when you have experienced such bigotry it sometimes takes a little time to trust people. I am sorry that the people in your world were not better role models but I would say, even they grew up with that environment it was not their fault. In a way they were brainwashed, just as their parents were and their parents before them. It is unfortunate that there is so much ignorance, bigotry, and hatred in this world. I am ever hopeful for a world where people can live in harmony with one another. The human race can be so much better and could accomplish so much to help one another if they could only let go of the hate and respect one another. I am not saying we all have to love each other, it would be nice but not reasonable but I will gladly take respect for everyone as a normal. It that too much to hope for? Be well. Shalom Dan
Daniel, as always, your words touch my heart. I am sorry to hear that you had to fight the tides of bigotry when you were coming up in the world, and probably still today. You're right, when you are the recipient of such abuse, it sensitizes you to the plight of others in ways you were not before. I honestly think that the abuse and ostracization I experienced as a young child from my peers say the stage for my empathy and my understanding the perspective of the underdog. It's strange to think about it that way, but had I never experienced that, it's likely that I might have perpetrated that same thing myself. In that way, I am glad for my suffering, since it woke me to the suffering of others. Thank you for your kind words. ❤️
I was born in Charlotte NC in 1961. We lived in Southern California for about a year in 1965-1966, then back to Charlotte for about a year, and finally to Spartanburg SC when I was in first grade. Except for that year in California, I have lived my entire life in the Carolinas, including when I was married (Charlotte, Rock Hill, and York were the places I lived as a married lady). Schools were still segregated when I started school, but in the early 70s, schools in Spartanburg were desegregated without much fuss in Spartanburg, although other cities had problems. Racism was all around, and still is. In fact, it's worse, because of the rot at the top. Some of the things that you heard people say about Blacks, I never remember hearing, but the "n" word was freely used. I used it, and thought nothing about it, until sometime in my teens, when I realized it was wrong, and stopped using it. It's hard to call out people for saying racist stuff, especially if they are loved ones, who are otherwise good people. I have done it, but not consistently, I'm a white coward too. However, I will try to overcome that, because it's more important now than ever, with that rot at the top of the nation.
That's right on target Linda. I may have faltered in the past, but that doesn't mean I have to keep following that path. Thank you for your thoughtful comment. ❤️
I’m one who has been a victim of bigotry and I’m one who didn’t speak up one time when I should have. Never again.
Thanks for such a poignant essay.
Thank you Kay-El. ❤️
Hits very hard.
Thank you.
Thank you❤️
Hey Blue! Thanks for sharing with us. I know how you feel. They called me a Wiger JUST for having black friends and seeing the GOOD in EVERYONE when I was in high school. One of my brothers who other than being an alcoholic was ok at the time was dating a black/African American girl. He invited her to his birthday and just because she was coming my grandfather wouldn't come. Years later though, he was the first to get others to allow black/African Americans in the local fair here! That must have changed his mind! There was and most likely still are some racist jerks. I have to recommend the book Adult Survivors of TOXIC Family Members to you. It helps if you have that sort of thing or anyother form of TOXIC behaviour in your family.
Thanks for the book recommend, Angela. I'll be sure to check that out. ❤️❤️🔥
💙 you have a way to slap me upside the head when I need it so much… I wanted to reply to this last night but right after I read this I saw confirmation about Elisa Rae Shupe as it destroyed me remembering several of our conversations about things as well as her last post that I had but after I started crying my phone went blank after I couldn’t figure out how to save that post and it was gone… several have cautioned me about taking to much as a failing when I didn’t respond like I feel like I should of… your post is written with pain and recognition of the whys and why for’s… you have a perspective that I appreciate immensely… thank you 🙏 ❤️🩹
Thank you so much Rick. I appreciate that you enjoy and can relate to what I have to say. I hadn't heard the latest about Elise Rae Shupe. What did I miss?
💔 on Jan 31 she committed suicide and was wrapped in a trans flag while in her final moments… unfortunately no major news orgs carried any info at all… so fucked up…
That is the most devastating of news 😭😭😭💔. I am so shattered for her and her family. Nobody deserves what was done to her.
“So be it, indeed.” Stunning. Thank you for your candor.
Thank you Sherry. 😊❤️
Same. I lived in a certain school district with the last open operating KKK group that was overtly active until the mid 80s. In the Portland Metropolitan area. Us kids nonchalantly told the black students this. It was a bland fact to us and a horror to them. I didn't realize the horror it would be to them. Racism wasn't spoken about. Everyone pretended it didn't exist outside for those people but the redlining didn't end until the mid to late 80s as well.
Few black students stayed all 4 years. It was too much for them to tolerate. College was a huge eye opener. And that is why so many don't want kids going to college or only want kids going to certain universities.
Yep. Exactly. That quiet, polite, under the cover of stealth white racism that infects this area of the country has deep deep roots.
Dear blue, thank you for your appreciation of my work. As far as bigotry goes I would not say you get use to it, but when you are always ready for it, it does not take you completely by surprise. Although whenever it occurs it does hurt again. Each time feels like another knife wound. Just as fresh as the first one. Still you keep going and you try to be particular about who you interact with. Sometimes you just have to walk away. Shalom Dan
I am in awe of your candor, your humility, and your willingness to admit wrongs and make them right. Sitting here in discomfort thinking about all the times I was silent, or worse actually complicit in thought, word, or deed. Thank you for inspiring reflection and change in my heart.
Thanks you for such kind words, Mapes. ❤️🫂😻
Dear blue, I want to tell you how far hate can extend. My reasons for addressing this to you is that I feel you and the people you attract will understand.
When I was in the Air Force I was stationed at McGuire AFB in New Jersey. The boss of the loadmasters [NCOIC] Non Comissioned Officer In Charge was a closet bigot. His wife worked in the administrative offices of the base. If he did not like you, all he needed to do was have a conversation with his wife in the privacy of their home, and as if by magic, orders would appear sending you to Vietnam, usually but it could be for any location. Anyway as it turned out I was enjoying my assignment and doing well. Not good for me. Then there was a sergeant, who happened to be black, who resisted this man's interference in his doing his job. Not good for him. Then there was this other guy. He did not stand out. He was just one of many, like the rest of us. Not good for him either. Anyway the NCOIC had a little talk with Mrs. NCOIC, and you guessed it magic, we all got orders for Vietnam. You see in his logic if he sent me, oh I forgot I am Jewish, and just me it might raise a question. But with the addition of the black sergeant and the white kid it looked like a normal situation, except it was anything but. And his hope was that either the black sergeant or myself or perhaps both of us would wind up dead. So the next thing we know we were in Vietnam. Me and the white kid,Bo. The black sergeant came a little later, but under the same orders. No one was the wiser. When the black sergeant showed up at the same unit as the two of us things got interesting. The black sergeant brought with him some news about our former boss, the now former NCOIC. It seems that after we got our orders our boss was returning from a mission. He did have to do some work some time. Anyway while he was on his way back to McGuire he had to stop in Elmendorf AFB Alaska for crew rest. While there he got really, really drunk at the NCO Club. He then proceeded to tell everyone there exactly what he thought of the Air Forces hiring policy when it came to certain people like me and the black sergeant, only he did not use polite words. In attendance was someone who knew Col. Duckett who happened to be the Commander of the 21st Air Force. Which was head quartered at McGuire AFB. You are appointed to that position by the President of the United States of America, no one else. So when the Col. Duckett was informed of the goings on by a man in charge of so many people he took action. When our boss flew into McGuire the next day his car was waiting for him. He was taken to Col. Duckett's office where he was given a choice, which was more than any of us got. He could retire and take his wife along with him, or if he decided to stay he was to be reassigned to a very lowly job with no supervision responsibilities and no people under him. So he retired. Life, such as it was in a war zone, went on, until that day. 27 November 1970. The day Bo, remember the white kid, got killed. He along with five other American crew on just another routine mission in Vietnam. Only for them it was their last. So in a bizarre twist of fate the bigoted boss got his wish, but unfortunately for Bo, he got caught in the crossfire. Our boss intended for me or the black guy to get it, but it was Bo along with the other five men who paid the ultimate price. I still morn him to this day. As the expression goes, there but for the grace of God go I. So you see evil prejudice does exact a victim just not always the one the perpetrator had in mind. And sometimes the consequences of your actions come back around and bite you in the ass as well. There is no lesson or anecdote of life, or reason for what happened, only that it did, and poor Bo paid with his life.
Until now only a few knew this story. Now I give it to the world to understand and ponder. There is a lesson in this, exactly what, I still have to figure out. It is something that will be with me forever. Shalom Dan
Daniel, you write so beautifully and with such evocative emotion. Your story was tragic. To purposely put people in harms way out of petty grievance. There are not many things more dishonorable than that. I'm sorry that you ever had to deal with such bigotry. I hope America can heal the sickness before it destroys us entirely. 🫂❤️😻