I'm a 73 year old man, and like you, I can spot an abused woman a mile away. I'm not allowed to intervene or try to help in any way, though, because then I'm stuck in the middle and have actually had an abused woman turn on me and she dislocated my shoulder!
I spot it because I was abused as a kid. In my juvenile mind, I knew I'd break the chain by never having kids, which decision I still stand by, but it also kept me from any relationships at all. In the words of Paul Simon, "I am a rock..."
Yep, once you see it not only can you spot it out a mile away but it tends make you leery of even giving people the chance to put you in that position ever again. I know that I'll probably never date again. The two husbands I ended up with in my life already took so much from me and I don't have that same amount left to lose these days.
I do know these things. A single pickup of possessions to start anew. Fleeing in desperation. After the first one though, I vowed to never be financially dependent on a man ever again, and it didn’t let me down, one less level of control, though you are so correct in that there are many others. The best to your friend, in this case it is the leaving that is the hardest part. Love your work bluePNWcats!
Condolences to you as well, Blue! For you will have to let go of a precious thing. However, there are many ways to communicate as you well know, and Substack is turning out to be an awesome one for me!
Oh my heart, I'm alternately crying and cheering reading this. YAY Cindy! LET'S GOOOOO! Every time a woman stands up for herself she stands for ALL women." Suck it, Todd. Beautiful writing here, my love!
Kinda makes me think which is how there’s got to be so much more mind boggling abuse buried under layers trapped in trunks in the silence of the soul than we can ever fathom.
Fucking Todd...
I'm a 73 year old man, and like you, I can spot an abused woman a mile away. I'm not allowed to intervene or try to help in any way, though, because then I'm stuck in the middle and have actually had an abused woman turn on me and she dislocated my shoulder!
I spot it because I was abused as a kid. In my juvenile mind, I knew I'd break the chain by never having kids, which decision I still stand by, but it also kept me from any relationships at all. In the words of Paul Simon, "I am a rock..."
Yep, once you see it not only can you spot it out a mile away but it tends make you leery of even giving people the chance to put you in that position ever again. I know that I'll probably never date again. The two husbands I ended up with in my life already took so much from me and I don't have that same amount left to lose these days.
I do know these things. A single pickup of possessions to start anew. Fleeing in desperation. After the first one though, I vowed to never be financially dependent on a man ever again, and it didn’t let me down, one less level of control, though you are so correct in that there are many others. The best to your friend, in this case it is the leaving that is the hardest part. Love your work bluePNWcats!
Thank you ConfirmedBias. There are so many ways they control. Finances just happen to be one of the easiest levers available.
Condolences to you as well, Blue! For you will have to let go of a precious thing. However, there are many ways to communicate as you well know, and Substack is turning out to be an awesome one for me!
Yes, I do take some solace in the fact that at least we will be able to start talking regularly again. 🥹
True that, and openly!
Oh, blue. 🫂
❤️🫂
Oh my heart, I'm alternately crying and cheering reading this. YAY Cindy! LET'S GOOOOO! Every time a woman stands up for herself she stands for ALL women." Suck it, Todd. Beautiful writing here, my love!
Thank you my dear! Crying and cheering could be the running subtitle of my life these days. 😄
100%. At least we’re not just crying. I hope Cindy runs so fast she flies.
A familiar story, beautifully told.
So much recognition here for the love you have for your friend. ♥️
Thank you Anna. We don't marry strangers indeed. Both of mine had echoes of my past abusers, so that tracks in my experience as well.
Kinda makes me think which is how there’s got to be so much more mind boggling abuse buried under layers trapped in trunks in the silence of the soul than we can ever fathom.
More than we are even equipped to fathom I think. ❤️
Probably yeah. Even therapists are required to have therapy. Even they probably can’t handle the shit