Cash money never goes out of style. Let them make their own choice as to how they spend your largesse instead of judging how their choices led them to this point.
Exactly! Charity with strings isn't really charity at all because it isn't freely given. It should be enough to see a human suffering and to want to help relieve their suffering if you can. Not to teach them a lesson about their skewed priorities.
There’s an older gentleman in my area that is homeless. He’s quiet and unassuming and never bothers anyone that I’ve seen. He’s never asked anyone for money that I’ve seen. But every now and then if I have a little cash, I’ll hand it to him. He’s never spoken a word before the other day when he said hello for the first time. Priceless.
That is lovely. I try to do a dollar or two whenever I have it on me. I figure that I waste enough money on junk that I don't need and some of it might as well go to someone who needs it for something useful.
When asked about the homeless using cash for drink or drugs, Kip Tiernan of Rosie's Place had the best answer.
"Certainly if I were living on the street, hungry and cold, I would want to be sober for every minute of that. I would want to savor every miserable second completely sober."
If your precious ethics insist you can't give someone money because they might use it on drink or drugs, then carry around gift cards for fast food restaurants.
But given a lot of those same smug twits think they deserve a drink after a hard day at the office, I doubt it's ethics.
I read that note Blue and the tone was indeed rather sanctimonious! It wasn’t until I read your essay that I was reminded about a similar experience I had. We had just exited an unassuming but awesome Chinese buffet and there was an unhoused person sitting outside. He asked for food money and I gave him 15 dollars thinking he would go inside for an epic all-you-can-eat. I said something to that effect and he looked at me and said No! If I go over here to the dollar tree I can eat for days on things that don’t spoil so fast. All junk food, but it really opened my eyes about well, a whole lot of things. Wonderful, thought provoking essay as always. Your humanity shines right through! Love you Blue!
Aww, I love you too! 😻 Yeah, there are so many things that you don't really consider unless your eyes are opened by experiencing homelessness or knowing someone who has. I just want to illuminate for people that even sometimes something that can seem generous on the outset can have a darker tinge to it.
We don't get the dirty old guy wino panhandlers in my town. We get women sitting on an upside down bucket with a child or two with her.
Whatever their circumstances, I am still a million times better off in my car with a load of groceries than somebody sitting by the entrance to a strip mall holding up a cardboard sign.
Self righteous assholes bragging about how they called out somebody suffering from an addiction are pathetic.
This is the cleanest, clearest way I have ever heard explained that a gift should be a gift, no matter whom you give it to or what they decide to do with it.
This BUGS ME!!! My mother said “they could go get a job, anywhere. At McDonald’s.” I said “ASSUMING they even have the resources for that…do you see cars???? Or anything besides feet???…do YOU know any employer that will hire someone with no address? Oh you DON’T?? Because they don’t want to “take the risk”????? ISN’T that interesting!!!!”
This whole entire attitude bugs the living shit out of me.
America is great at victim blaming and foisting responsibility for their conditions onto the most vulnerable people. It's kind of our thing. And people don't stop and take just a few minutes to think any deeper than that knee jerk superiority complex mindset. It makes me furious.
Your mom may be saying that because it used to be more true than now.
Restaurants and garages used to give homeless guys a few bucks to do the dirty jobs (like washing out the dumpster or cleaning out the back area) that regular employees didn't want to do.
But no one was going to be posting pictures on social media if they did. Now they are.
And you didn't need a social security number to work as casual labor.
And you could give them cash out of the register without worrying about electronic reporting to corporate.
Once you lose the fixed address, everything becomes ten times harder. Once you lose your paperwork, make it a thousand times harder.
Which is why the whole van life thing makes me crazy. Cops tow that van and then where are you?
…a better story/note would be “who are you and how can i help you and then hey here is my phone i’ll pay you $10,000 to tell your story and keep the phone and here is my suit and car and you have four days to be back here or a paid clown who will be tracking you starting in 22 minutes will slam a cream pie onto your backpack”…i’ve heard this anecdote a million times and it never comes across the way the teller thinks it does…i think most people hate the homeless because they have the freedom to not work for amazon…
I've slept in doorways and stairwells, I get it.
Cash money never goes out of style. Let them make their own choice as to how they spend your largesse instead of judging how their choices led them to this point.
Exactly! Charity with strings isn't really charity at all because it isn't freely given. It should be enough to see a human suffering and to want to help relieve their suffering if you can. Not to teach them a lesson about their skewed priorities.
There’s an older gentleman in my area that is homeless. He’s quiet and unassuming and never bothers anyone that I’ve seen. He’s never asked anyone for money that I’ve seen. But every now and then if I have a little cash, I’ll hand it to him. He’s never spoken a word before the other day when he said hello for the first time. Priceless.
That is lovely. I try to do a dollar or two whenever I have it on me. I figure that I waste enough money on junk that I don't need and some of it might as well go to someone who needs it for something useful.
When asked about the homeless using cash for drink or drugs, Kip Tiernan of Rosie's Place had the best answer.
"Certainly if I were living on the street, hungry and cold, I would want to be sober for every minute of that. I would want to savor every miserable second completely sober."
If your precious ethics insist you can't give someone money because they might use it on drink or drugs, then carry around gift cards for fast food restaurants.
But given a lot of those same smug twits think they deserve a drink after a hard day at the office, I doubt it's ethics.
Exactly! It's just another classism play at work!
I read that note Blue and the tone was indeed rather sanctimonious! It wasn’t until I read your essay that I was reminded about a similar experience I had. We had just exited an unassuming but awesome Chinese buffet and there was an unhoused person sitting outside. He asked for food money and I gave him 15 dollars thinking he would go inside for an epic all-you-can-eat. I said something to that effect and he looked at me and said No! If I go over here to the dollar tree I can eat for days on things that don’t spoil so fast. All junk food, but it really opened my eyes about well, a whole lot of things. Wonderful, thought provoking essay as always. Your humanity shines right through! Love you Blue!
Aww, I love you too! 😻 Yeah, there are so many things that you don't really consider unless your eyes are opened by experiencing homelessness or knowing someone who has. I just want to illuminate for people that even sometimes something that can seem generous on the outset can have a darker tinge to it.
We don't get the dirty old guy wino panhandlers in my town. We get women sitting on an upside down bucket with a child or two with her.
Whatever their circumstances, I am still a million times better off in my car with a load of groceries than somebody sitting by the entrance to a strip mall holding up a cardboard sign.
Self righteous assholes bragging about how they called out somebody suffering from an addiction are pathetic.
Yes, exactly! It's not the flex that someone seems to think it is.
This is the cleanest, clearest way I have ever heard explained that a gift should be a gift, no matter whom you give it to or what they decide to do with it.
Yes, exactly my point 😁
Loved the piece.
Thanks Lila 😊. I appreciate you!
This BUGS ME!!! My mother said “they could go get a job, anywhere. At McDonald’s.” I said “ASSUMING they even have the resources for that…do you see cars???? Or anything besides feet???…do YOU know any employer that will hire someone with no address? Oh you DON’T?? Because they don’t want to “take the risk”????? ISN’T that interesting!!!!”
This whole entire attitude bugs the living shit out of me.
America is great at victim blaming and foisting responsibility for their conditions onto the most vulnerable people. It's kind of our thing. And people don't stop and take just a few minutes to think any deeper than that knee jerk superiority complex mindset. It makes me furious.
Your mom may be saying that because it used to be more true than now.
Restaurants and garages used to give homeless guys a few bucks to do the dirty jobs (like washing out the dumpster or cleaning out the back area) that regular employees didn't want to do.
But no one was going to be posting pictures on social media if they did. Now they are.
And you didn't need a social security number to work as casual labor.
And you could give them cash out of the register without worrying about electronic reporting to corporate.
Once you lose the fixed address, everything becomes ten times harder. Once you lose your paperwork, make it a thousand times harder.
Which is why the whole van life thing makes me crazy. Cops tow that van and then where are you?
I've had that very same thought about the van life stuff.
The cruelty is the point for those self-righteous dicks.
…a better story/note would be “who are you and how can i help you and then hey here is my phone i’ll pay you $10,000 to tell your story and keep the phone and here is my suit and car and you have four days to be back here or a paid clown who will be tracking you starting in 22 minutes will slam a cream pie onto your backpack”…i’ve heard this anecdote a million times and it never comes across the way the teller thinks it does…i think most people hate the homeless because they have the freedom to not work for amazon…
😂 bravo, my friend! Thank you for the chuckle! 🤭